There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk and I Keep Falling In
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We’ve all been there. That sinking feeling of “Not again…” as we find ourselves caught in the same patterns, stuck in the same emotional loops, or facing consequences we swore we’d never repeat. Whether it’s in relationships, careers, habits or mindset, growth often feels less like a straight line and more like circling the same block over and over until we finally choose a different street.
Portia Nelson’s poem There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk captures this human journey with stark simplicity. First published in her book of the same name in 1993, it’s often quoted in therapy rooms, recovery groups and reflective writing workshops — and for good reason. It reads like an entire life story in five paragraphs. Here’s the full poem
There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: An Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
By Portia Nelson
Chapter One
I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost … I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter Two
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in this same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter Three
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in … it’s a habit … but my eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.
Chapter Four
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter Five
I walk down another street.
Portia Nelson, “There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self Discovery” (1993)
Why This Poem Still Hits Home
What makes this poem so powerful is its universal truth. We all have our “holes”, those recurring blind spots, emotional triggers, unhealthy patterns or coping mechanisms we developed when we didn’t know better. At first, we fall in without realising. Later, we fall in and pretend not to. Then we fall in even though we do know better, and only with effort do we finally start walking around or away.
This poem doesn’t shame us for the process. It acknowledges the reality of human behaviour, that insight takes time, change takes practice, and responsibility is often a journey, not a switch we flip.
The Slow Art of Choosing Another Street
Whether your “hole” is burnout, people pleasing, a toxic relationship, overspending or self-doubt, the metaphor remains true. Each chapter is a reminder that growth isn’t about getting it perfect, it’s about recognising the pattern sooner and choosing differently.
Here’s what that might look like in real life:
Chapter One: “I didn’t know this was going to hurt me.”
Chapter Two: “I saw the signs but ignored them.”
Chapter Three: “I knew better, but I did it anyway.”
Chapter Four: “This time, I paused and chose differently.”
Chapter Five: “I created a new environment that doesn’t include that pattern anymore.
A Quiet Invitation
The poem doesn’t end with triumph or drama; it ends with a quiet decision. A change of path. That, perhaps, is the deepest wisdom: we are not only responsible for climbing out of the holes, but for eventually choosing streets without them.
So today, whatever your “hole” is, maybe it’s time to stop falling in — or at least bring a ladder. And when you’re ready, you can always walk down another street.
References:
Portia Nelson (1993). There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self Discovery. Simon and Schuster.
